Minor Differences: Part 1

First things first. No, I am not dead. No, my hands have not fallen off. Yes, I still know how to type and all my fingers are, at last check, still attached (though I figure I could misplace at least 70% of my fingers and not lose anything off my words per minute score). Quite simply, I've been doing nothing interesting, unless you count schoolwork, exercise and countless hours of Football Manager interesting. I of course, do find those things passably engaging (at least two of them anyway), so if I were writing a blog just for me, I guess I'd be in great shape. I am, however, writing this blog for you, my intrepid reader, so posts about all that guff would be frivolous in the extreme. Much like this introduction.

Back to the whole purpose of this post (an admittedly half-assed premise), and that is some casual observations about small differences between Canadian and Kiwi life. The idea is shamelessly appropriated from The Oatmeal, one of my favourite blogs and a generally hilarious corner of the internet. To avoid copyright restrictions, my versions of Minor Differences will differ in two ways: A) It will not be very funny and B) It won't have amusing drawings. Pretty much the only similarity is the title I guess. Sorry to disappoint. Anyway, after the jump.


Where's Waldo vs. Where's Wally
I told you this would be about minor differences. But yes, in New Zealand (and probably Australia as well), the shifty bastard is called Wally, not Waldo. How is this relevant to my stay here in New Zealand? Well, the first time I looked at a Where's Waldo book (not knowing the difference), it was actually impossible for me to win, because Waldo wasn't even there. I know what you're thinking, and yes, it was truly horrifying and jarring experience. Also, I have a Waldo-esque shirt, and one night as I was walking down the street a random girl yelled from her balcony "You look like Where's Wally." I, at  this point familiar with the Waldo/Wally dichotomy, responded "You found me." She didn't laugh. RIDICULOUS. That was off-the-cuff hilarity in my books.

What is your REAL NAME? WE HAVE WAYS OF MAKING YOU TALK 

Driving on the Left vs. Driving on the Right
At first blush, this seems like a MAJOR difference, and it is. I've driven a few times since I've been here (often enough to get a SPEEDING TICKET!) and it takes a while to adjust. But, no accidents so far, even with all the backwards roundabouts. Where the MINOR difference comes in is that driving on the opposite side creates other issues. For example, what side of the stairs do you walk on when there's two-way traffic? The RIGHT (unless you're an stairway anarchist. In which case, FALL IN LINE YOU KNOB). Well folks, that is not the case here. Because they drive on the left, they walk on the left hand side of stairs, sidewalks and all that. The first few weeks here, I was constantly fighting against the tide, felling like a salmon swimming upriver to spawn. But instead of getting to make sweet fishy love, I was arriving at a new floor. Anyway, when someone told me this, my mind literally (not literally) EXPLODED all over the place. Since then, no problems. I am a StairMasterExpert (whew, almost a copyright issue there).

Barbeques

Having a background in grilling and and various other flame-based cooking, I was very excited when I discovered that my flat had a grill for me to Emmeril Lagasse (no way that spelling's right, but I'm not checking) up some PORK CHAWPS when I get hungry. Much to my chagrin, when I arrived this so called "Barbeque" didn't have a proper lid. WHAT THE H?! (sorry for the harsh letters Mom). While not a major obstacle, it prevents me getting the maximum out of my grilling knowledge. Oh well, it's too damn cold and wet to cook outside 98% of the time anyway.

Anyway, there's a whole pile more little quirks that NZ has that took a while to notice/get used to (seriously guys, what's with the short shorts? I've got great thighs, but you don't see me wearing Larry Bird shorts around all the time), but this all I feel like writing about right now. I'll be a little more active in the next few days (hopefully), thanks for sticking around through this dry spell. 

Dave